I felt the tears run down my cheeks before I could stop them. Wiping them away I bit my lip and closed my eyes. My mother’s voice rang clear in my head. “You have been given way too much to start feeling sorry for yourself. It’s okay to feel the loss, the immensity of the struggle, the amount of work it takes, but you CAN NOT feel sorry for yourself!”
In the previous moment I’d had a “Poor Louis” moment. My back muscles were revolting and I allowed the whimpering to enter the scene. Poor me, my back hurts whah, whah, whah… Catching the moment quickly my higher mind jumped in and Mom’s presence offered comfort. In my head I apologized to my deceased mother and father, to living relatives, friends, and supporters, then I spoke aloud to Jacki. “I’m truly sorry about that.”
I’d love to tell you that every thing is easy and I am soaring to a rapid recovery with a hop skip and a jump and smiles are around every corner, but that would be incorrect.
This road is rugged. Pity parties happen and then we move on.
Update: Progress is still happening. Daily. With Miriam gone home it’s just Jacki and I and so far so good. I had a few follow up appointments and the doctors assure us we are making great progress. At home therapies continue with about six hours of PT and six hours of OT a week. Bumping curbs, transferring in and out of cars, grocery shopping, yard work, and field trips. We will continue with these at home visits until the COVID status improves some. The we will transition to out-patient therapies at their locations.
Last Monday the folks at Trails, part of University of Utah Health program fitted me we a loaner recumbent hand bike. Since their weekly outings have been canceled they wanted to get equipment into out hands. Yes, pedaling a bike with your arms is harder than your legs, but have you tried pushing a wheelchair around? It is amazing and having only been on a few outings I am thrilled by the ease and cardio effect. We will see where we can go.
Yesterday we received a grant from the High Fives Foundation to help with out patient PT! So psyched!
See you out there,